So many issues in life. so many important things to deal with. All of those issues that we have to deal with day in and day out, would be helped if we listened better. Remember the old question, “”Why did God give us two ears and only one mouth?” it’s a key point to making things better in our life. Of course the answer is that we should listen twice as much as we speak. This is one point that I try and work on all the time in my life. there are still many times that I come up short with this point. I am trying to reinforce that point with my students in my classes at school. I just know that if they are able to begin working on this very important point sooner in their lives than I did in mine, it could mean some great opportunities come their way. And to think that most people don’t use this point in their lives, so hopefully my students, myself, and others that are practicing this point can help others to learn about it. The older we get in life, the more that this point becomes.

Listening is one of those important life skills that we all need for success. It starts early in our lives where we are taught to listen to our parents at such a young age. we are taught to listen to them at home, in public, crossing the street, playing outside, riding a bike, not to talk to strangers, etc. there is also the example that they set for us. Do our parents listen well? To each other, to other people in life, do they listen to us while we are kids?? All those things are picked up by us (and all kids) at such a young age. so we can see where the example can be the opposite. Since I have started working with and studying Leadership and Success principles, I have tried so hard now to pay attention to my wife and kids when they are talking to me. I’ve really tried to stop what I’m doing in order to listen better, especially while using the computer, doing school work or watching basketball on T.V. I’ve had to really try and change my habits to make things go better at home with me listening.

Steven Covey brings up a great point when he says “The deepest need of the human heart is to be understood.” when we listen to others, we send a great message, make a great connection, and tell them without saying a word that we really care for them and that they are important. in schools today, students just really want to be listened to. as a teacher I see this everyday to be the truth. Husbands want their wives to just listen to them; wives have always wanted their husbands to listen to them. Children want to be heard by their parents, the list goes on and on. The other great thing to come from this is that all the people that watch you when you are doing it. It’s a powerful message when you are the one that is not interrupting others, just so that you can get your point across. People will notice this simply because it is so rare.

This reminds me about a story that I heard awhile ago. A friend of mine was telling me a story that over the last few years he seemed to be having a lot of frustrating talks with a family member of his. there would be a lot of angry words and yelling it seems. but then, this family member of his, sat down and simply listened to him. This friend of mine was able to say things calmly about how frustrated he was with what’s been going on along with the fact that he just wanted to understand this family member and why he was always getting so upset over things. It worked, as things have gotten a lot better in their house. I asked him what the difference was. my friend told me the two of them sat down and listened to each other, rather than only trying to get their own side of the story out. They found some common ground and began to spend their time listening rather than just focusing on being heard.

I always ask myself a question when I learn something like this. “Is there someone I can try this on?” I know there are plenty of people that I could try to listen to better so that our relationship gets better. what about you? Pick someone who is close to you and maybe your relationship with that person is not where you know it should be. Try really listening to them when they talk and see what happens. put them first in your conversations. make it about them, not about you.

My guess is that it will make a difference with that person. Watch the differences shine with your relationship with this person. then feel free to do this to more people too. I’m still working on this too. there has been a distinct difference with many people. The results are incredible. but I know I have to do more. as always I’m always very interested in finding out how this goes.

Listening is a Key to Life